Saturday, 7 March 2020

The Bearditudes

"The beard covers a multitude of chins."

Among the gifts that God has blessed me with, is the gift of a funny-bone. I love a good laugh. Sometimes I don't think we laugh enough. Of course seriousness has its place, but so does a good chuckle.

There is an interesting passage in the Bible attributed to Solomon that says, "There is a time for everything … [including] a time to laugh" (Ecclesiastes 3: 1,4). Maybe God has a sense of humour too.

About a year ago I found an interesting book in Chapters called Bearded Gospel Men: The Epic Quest for Manliness & Godliness. I even wrote a little book review about it. You can find it here. The other day I picked up that book again and rediscovered a little quip that I had forgotten about: The Bearditudes (p.25). As someone who has been bearded for most of his life, and as a self-professed humorist, you'd have to know that I would find this paraphrase from the NBT (New Bearded Translation) worthy of a chuckle.

So at the risk of offending the follicular challenged, here are The Bearditudes:

Blessed are those who strive for beardedness,
for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are those who endure suffering for beardedness's sake,
for great is their reward in manliness.

Blessed are those full in beard,
for they shall inspire the beardless toward beardom.

Blessed are the bearded who eat messy foods,
for their flavor shall endure forever and ever.

Blessed is he whose face knows no razor,
for the Devil stays far from him.

Blessed are those who resist the scraping of their faces,
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for beardedness,
for their necks shall be covered.

Well there you have it; The Bearditudes. In all fairness, however, the book mentioned above from which this was taken is about more than just humour and beards. It is first and foremost about godliness. It is made up of 31 short chapters about various godly people from church history. Each chapter also includes a verse of the day, a quote and a prayer. As such it makes for a great daily devotional for an entire month. And for those of my brothers with facial foliage and a funny bone, perhaps it is even more apropos. I do recommend the book.

Finally, I dare not leave this subject without referencing Jesus' Beatitudes, as recorded in Matthew's  Gospel chapter 5. If you're not familiar with it, it's definitely a 'must read.' Click here for the full text.

Peace and Blessings, my friends. God is good.

"Fret not, young bearder; itch too shall pass."

Photo Source: That would be me and my beloved fur-baby. Click here for more about my musings.
The caption was also taken from one of the memes in the book (page 223).
Check out this link for more about Bearded Gospel Men.

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